some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
