Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
