Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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