Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
