you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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