hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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