I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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