i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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