she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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