I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
