Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't think brook has ever known best
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize