so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize