Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
