yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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