Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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