Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
