how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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