69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
