there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
