he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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