so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize