: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
