high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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