All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
