I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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