cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
