Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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