Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
