I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
