but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We talked him into tasing himself.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
