Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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