Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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