So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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