she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
