I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
