did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
