the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
