we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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