Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
