Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
