when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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