Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize