New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
