tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
