HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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