I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
