I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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