i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
