So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
