For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
