I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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