How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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