I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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