nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize