I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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