so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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