this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
