I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
