If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Randomize
