the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I will be naked everywhere
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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