do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
