Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
