DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
