yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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